A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog. The children started discussing what the dog's duties might be."They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster."No," said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child concluded. "No silly, they use the dogs to find the fire hydrant!"Friday, January 30, 2009
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog. The children started discussing what the dog's duties might be."They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster."No," said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child concluded. "No silly, they use the dogs to find the fire hydrant!"
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Prayer Praise Update
Update
Just to let you know I am appreciating the prayers each of you are praying for me. I have evidence that prayers are being answered.
On August 14, 2008, my first visit to see the bariatric surgeon, I weighted 331.5 Pounds.
On January 15, 2009, my second visit to see the doctor, I weighted 327.0 Pounds.
Please note: these dates took me through the Thanksgiving and the Christmas Season.
On January 27, 2009, I needed blood work done and at the hospital I weighted 305.9 Pounds.
By my calculation I have lost 21.1 Pounds in preparation for this surgery. Praise God and thanks to all of you who are praying for me.
Lois
Just to let you know I am appreciating the prayers each of you are praying for me. I have evidence that prayers are being answered.
On August 14, 2008, my first visit to see the bariatric surgeon, I weighted 331.5 Pounds.
On January 15, 2009, my second visit to see the doctor, I weighted 327.0 Pounds.
Please note: these dates took me through the Thanksgiving and the Christmas Season.
On January 27, 2009, I needed blood work done and at the hospital I weighted 305.9 Pounds.
By my calculation I have lost 21.1 Pounds in preparation for this surgery. Praise God and thanks to all of you who are praying for me.
Lois
Friday, January 23, 2009
Another Friday Funnies
A Winter Poem of Michigan
WINTER Poem
It's winter in Michigan
And the gentle breezes blow Seventy miles an hour
It's winter in Michigan
And the gentle breezes blow Seventy miles an hour
At thirty-five below.
Oh, how I love Michigan
When the snow's up to your butt
Oh, how I love Michigan
When the snow's up to your butt
You take a breath of winter
And your nose gets frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful
Yes, the weather here is wonderful
So I guess I'll hang around
I could never leave Michigan
I'm frozen to the ground!
I'm frozen to the ground!
Lois
I have not blogged for a while. I have been busy not eating. I have started the count down for the day of my bariatric surgery. I am on a liquid diet, spending a lot of time eliminating the fluid. The purpose of this liquid fasting is to get protein into my body and to shrink the liver. The liver needs shrinking as the doctor will be moving it around when he makes the new stomach. I am on this eating plan for two weeks previous to the surgery and another two to three weeks after the surgery. Now it is time for some fun.
Finally It's Done!Something I have been waiting for has finally happened! You can expect to hear from me even more frequently now! I finally got the bathroom remodeled!
This gives new meaning to 'Going Online'...
May you be blessed with a good chuckle today.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Friday Funnies
Little House Behind the House
By Lee Stressman, Missouri Valley, Iowa
One of my bygone recollections as I recall the days of yore,
Is the Little House, behind the house, with the crescent over the door.
‘Twas a place to sit and ponder, with your head bowed down low,
Knowing you wouldn’t be there, if you didn’t have to go.
Ours was a three holer, with a size for everyone,
You left there feeling better, after your usual job was done.
You had to make these frequent trips whether snow, rain, sleet, or fog…
To the Little House where you usually found the Sears-Roebuck catalogue.
Often times in dead of winter the seat was covered with snow,
‘Twas then with much reluctance to the Little House, you’d go.
With a swish you’d clear the seat, bend low with dreadful fear.
You’d blink your eyes and grit your teeth as you settled on your rear.
I recall the day my granddad, who stayed with us one summer,
Made a trip to the shanty, which proved to be a “bummer”.
‘Twas the same day that my dad finished painting the kitchen green.
He’d just cleaned up the mess he’d made, with rags and gasoline.
He tossed the rags in the shanty hole, and went on his usual way,
Not knowing that by doing so, he would eventually rue the day.
Now Granddad had an urgent call, I never will forget!
This trip he made to the Little House, lingers in my memory, yet!
He sat down on the shanty seat, with both feet on the floor,
Then filled his pipe with tobacco and struck a match on the outhouse door.
After the tobacco began to glow, He slowly raised his rear,
Tossed the flaming match in the open hole, with no sign of fear.
The blast that followed, I am sure, was heard for miles around;
And there was poor ol’ Granddad, just sitting on the ground.
The smoldering pipe was still in his mouth, His suspenders he held tight;
The celebrated 3-holer was blown clear out of sight!!!
When we asked him what had happened, his answer I’ll never forget.
He thought it must be something, that he had recently’et!!
Next day, we had a new one, which my dad built with ease,
With a sign on the entrance door, which read: “No Smoking, Please”
Now that’s the end of the story, with memories of long ago
Of the Little House, behind the house, where we went ‘cause we had to go!!
Lois
Friday, January 9, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Newsletter
I belong to an organization called Ol Hens. We are group of ladies who either worked for The S. D. Warren Company or their husbands did. We meet once a month for a noon luncheon. We also have a newsletter primarily for the purpose of reminding where I luncheons will be. I am the writer of the newsletter. We do not have very much news. The ladies like to have a two page letter. Most of them do not have a computer so they do not get the nice articles that we with computers get so I fill the extra space with these kinds of articles:
Cooking Tip: When substituting Splenda for sugar is to use a hair less Splenda than the sugar it calls for. For example: If a recipe calls for one cup of sugar, measure out a cup of Splenda (don't pack it!) and remove a tablespoon. The common mistake most people make is to add a little more Splenda than what the recipe calls for in sugar and that yields an artificially sweetened taste. So use a little less and you'll be just fine . I got this tip from Christy Jordan. [contact@southernplate.com]
Investment tips for 2009 With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros. and acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America, this might be some good advice. For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in later this year: 1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace. 2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker. 3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMM Good. 4.) FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP. 6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild. 7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants. 8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW.
Ramblings of a Retired MindI was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway. I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.' I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust." I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers! I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!" Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!" I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I know that Jesus has saved me!
Think of the money the U.S. citizens would save if all of our politicians were like:
Harry Truman, from Missouri, he was a different kind of President. He probably made as many important decisions regarding our nation's history as any of the other 42 Presidents. However, a measure of his greatness may rest on what he did after he left the White House.
Historians have written the only asset he had when he died was the house he lived in, which was in Independence, Missouri. On top of that, his wife inherited the house from her Mother. `
When he retired from office in 1952, his income was a U.S. Army pension reported to have been $13,507.72 a year. Congress, noting that he was paying for his stamps and personally licking them, granted him an 'allowance' and, later, a retroactive pension of $25,000 per year.
After President Eisenhower was inaugurated, Harry and Bess drove home to Missouri by themselves. There were no Secret Service following them.
When offered corporate positions at large salaries, he declined, stating, 'You don't want me. You want the office of the President, and that doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the American people and it's not for sale.'
Even later, on May 6, 1971, when Congress was preparing to award him the Medal of Honor on his 87th birthday, he refused to accept it, writing, 'I don't consider that I have done anything which should be the reason for any award, Congressional or otherwise.'
He never owned his own home and as president he paid for all of his own travel expenses and food.
Modern politicians have found a new level of success in cashing in on the Presidency, resulting in untold wealth. Today, many in Congress also have found a way to become quite wealthy while enjoying the fruits of their offices. Political offices are now for sale.
Good old Harry Truman was correct when he observed, 'My choices early in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference.'
It takes a while to come up with some of this but the ladies seem to enjoy getting the letter.
Lois
Cooking Tip: When substituting Splenda for sugar is to use a hair less Splenda than the sugar it calls for. For example: If a recipe calls for one cup of sugar, measure out a cup of Splenda (don't pack it!) and remove a tablespoon. The common mistake most people make is to add a little more Splenda than what the recipe calls for in sugar and that yields an artificially sweetened taste. So use a little less and you'll be just fine . I got this tip from Christy Jordan. [contact@southernplate.com]
Investment tips for 2009 With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros. and acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America, this might be some good advice. For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in later this year: 1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace. 2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker. 3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMM Good. 4.) FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP. 6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild. 7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants. 8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW.
Ramblings of a Retired MindI was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway. I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.' I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust." I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers! I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!" Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!" I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I know that Jesus has saved me!
Think of the money the U.S. citizens would save if all of our politicians were like:
Harry Truman, from Missouri, he was a different kind of President. He probably made as many important decisions regarding our nation's history as any of the other 42 Presidents. However, a measure of his greatness may rest on what he did after he left the White House.
Historians have written the only asset he had when he died was the house he lived in, which was in Independence, Missouri. On top of that, his wife inherited the house from her Mother. `
When he retired from office in 1952, his income was a U.S. Army pension reported to have been $13,507.72 a year. Congress, noting that he was paying for his stamps and personally licking them, granted him an 'allowance' and, later, a retroactive pension of $25,000 per year.
After President Eisenhower was inaugurated, Harry and Bess drove home to Missouri by themselves. There were no Secret Service following them.
When offered corporate positions at large salaries, he declined, stating, 'You don't want me. You want the office of the President, and that doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the American people and it's not for sale.'
Even later, on May 6, 1971, when Congress was preparing to award him the Medal of Honor on his 87th birthday, he refused to accept it, writing, 'I don't consider that I have done anything which should be the reason for any award, Congressional or otherwise.'
He never owned his own home and as president he paid for all of his own travel expenses and food.
Modern politicians have found a new level of success in cashing in on the Presidency, resulting in untold wealth. Today, many in Congress also have found a way to become quite wealthy while enjoying the fruits of their offices. Political offices are now for sale.
Good old Harry Truman was correct when he observed, 'My choices early in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference.'
It takes a while to come up with some of this but the ladies seem to enjoy getting the letter.
Lois
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Celebration
Saturday, January 3 would have been my mother’s 100th birthday had God not decided to take her to Him three years ago. The past thirty years our family has been celebrating the life of our mother every five years. This year we decided to go ahead with our celebration. We used a church social room to have a lunch of mixed barbeque sandwiches, sauerkraut, a variety of chips, salsa, brownies, a chex mix dessert, fortune cookies, and fudge.
My mother enjoyed playing games. She always said she had as much fun as anyone if she was winning or loosing. [I personally like winning.] We had three tables of games being played at one time. Two games of Skip Bo and one of Rumicub.
I think we have decided that it would be a good plan to continue meeting every five years but calling it The Winter Toman Reunion. Lois
My mother enjoyed playing games. She always said she had as much fun as anyone if she was winning or loosing. [I personally like winning.] We had three tables of games being played at one time. Two games of Skip Bo and one of Rumicub.
I think we have decided that it would be a good plan to continue meeting every five years but calling it The Winter Toman Reunion. Lois
Friday, January 2, 2009
Friday Funnies
Hi,
This is my second try at doing this blog thing. I have been reading blogs for quite a while and do so enjoy them. I have wanted to take part in the Friday Funnies for many months.
So this is it for today.
Faced with hard times, the company offered a bonus of one thousand
dollars to any employee who could come up with a way of saving money.
The bonus went to a young woman in accounting who suggested limiting
future bonuses to ten dollars.
Aunt Lois Says
This is my second try at doing this blog thing. I have been reading blogs for quite a while and do so enjoy them. I have wanted to take part in the Friday Funnies for many months.
So this is it for today.
Faced with hard times, the company offered a bonus of one thousand
dollars to any employee who could come up with a way of saving money.
The bonus went to a young woman in accounting who suggested limiting
future bonuses to ten dollars.
Aunt Lois Says
Thursday, January 1, 2009
First Time
Today, January 1, 2009 I am going to exercise my brain and try to do a post/blog.
We have had a quiet day. The we is my husband, Jim and I.
I made a delicious breakfast pizza which we did not eat until almost noon. We were up late last night. We did not get home from our neighbors until 1:00 a.m.
We had played "Mexican Train" with them until almost midnight. We stopped to watch the ball come down. I actually did not get to see it drop. I guess I blinked my eyes. We then had a piece of dump cake and came home.
We ordered gardening supplies for this coming season.
I think this will do for now. Aunt Lois Says.
We have had a quiet day. The we is my husband, Jim and I.
I made a delicious breakfast pizza which we did not eat until almost noon. We were up late last night. We did not get home from our neighbors until 1:00 a.m.
We had played "Mexican Train" with them until almost midnight. We stopped to watch the ball come down. I actually did not get to see it drop. I guess I blinked my eyes. We then had a piece of dump cake and came home.
We ordered gardening supplies for this coming season.
I think this will do for now. Aunt Lois Says.
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